A little halloween poem.

I baited my breath

to attract the bats
to move into the belfry

along with the cats.

My breath has abated
my brain has been batted
The belfry is scented 
with an aroma that's catted.

With love,

 Me.  

Best pet bed EVAH! (nods to Lantz Tolles)

Want....   I dont know if Henry wants it, but I want it. Found over my morning cup of coffee and etsy window shopping. Im my imaginary dream house this is sitting nicely against my pretty white wall snugged under the sunny window showing off the view of the country estate.  Fabulous window treatments frame this charming pet bed and my perfectly behaved Henry is reclining like a pampered pet.

 

The price is right. Some one needs to grab it before I do.  I would have to get rid of my one chair to fit this in my house. It might happen.  Made by  http://www.etsy.com/shop/Spaghetteria

Celebrating Henry’s bad behavior.

I woke up this morning with a feeling of dread.
I found Henry’s rectum was glued to my head.

It wasn’t his usual choice of repose.
The artful arrangement, his torso, my nose.

I wont be surprised if I break out in a sty.
Due to new sleeping habits, his anus, my eye.

I hope he goes back to his chest, my ear.
My armpit cheerfully cradles his rear.

My eardrum awash with his thundering purr.
My cheekbones warmed by the fuzzness of fur. 

With the first light of day now up my cats butt.
I'm considering trading him in for a mutt.

I love little Henry with all of my heart.
I'm ever so grateful he cant pass a fart.

My favorite colors.

Etsy is known for its tasteful pale front pages. The front pages come from treasuries that the etsy members create. I like this one. It roars with color. It hoots, hollers and dances in the aisle. Bring on the color! Toot some horns! Wave a flag and pierce an ear or two! Lets be a little lively.

Why I wont own a plastic covered couch.

 Skin stuck to leather? No. Thats why I like fabric furniture.
I have a fuchsia yoga ball that is my computer chair.
I loved it till the warm weather hit. I plopped down on it wearing nothing but my undies and a t-shirt. Im on it for an hour. When I stand up to answer the phone, I discover that sweat + plastic = super glue and I am now one with the yoga ball as surely as if I had licked a frozen pipe in the middle of winter.
I go capering off to catch the phone in a bent over thigh glued together kind of staggering waddle. Henry is going bug eyed at the worlds largest pinkest bounciest hemorrhoid that is glued to my ass.
The ball ripped away when I went careening through the doorway and it got caught in the doorjamb. I caught the phone on the last ring. All I could do was lay on the floor laughing hysterically while my friend kept asking "Honey.... are you okay?"

Where are the movie cameras when you need one? It was hilarity with out witnesses. I just hate that.

1976 Rare banned Queen Poster! A Night at the Opera

Its a post about a poster.
A million years ago photographer Philip Dixon hired my sister and I to model for a risque rock poster. The band, Queen, the poster, A Night at the Opera, The year 1976. The poster went up in Tower Records on a Friday. By Monday they were pulled off the walls, banned and destroyed. There are very few left in the world.
We were paid in albums, posters, front row seats to the concert and some cash. I ended up with my first pair of boots. Earthshoe boots! I was so darn hip in those boots. I gave up the boots years later when I couldnt fit into them anymore. I just loved them. They were the height of seventies fashion.
Cleaning up around the homestead, I found a couple of posters that were squirreled away by my father. He thought they might be worth something someday. Thanks Dad!
So this is for sale. $340 plus shipping. Please contact me through my website at www.kristismart.com My sister and I are splitting the loot.

Faux vest set in tail coat

zippered punk frock coat

Punk Rock safety pin coat by Kristi Smart